If you are separating in London and someone has mentioned applying to the family court, you have probably come across a term that sounds like alphabet soup. So, what is a MIAM? It stands for a mediation information and assessment meeting, and for most people in England and Wales it is a required first step before you can ask the court to make a decision about your children or your finances.
What is a MIAM not? It is not mediation itself, and it does not commit you to anything. It is a single meeting with an accredited family mediator, held in person at an office in Central, North or South London, or by video call, where you find out what your options are and whether mediation could work for your situation. This guide answers what is a MIAM in plain words, when you need one, when you do not, and where London families usually go to attend one.
What Is a MIAM? The Meaning in Plain English
A MIAM is a confidential meeting, usually lasting around 45 minutes to an hour, between you and a family mediator accredited by the Family Mediation Council. You attend on your own. Your ex-partner is normally invited to attend a separate meeting of their own, at a different time.
The mediator does two things. First, they give you information: how family mediation works, what it costs, what the alternatives are, and what the court process would actually involve if you went down that route. Second, they assess whether your case is suitable for mediation, taking into account safety, power imbalances, and whether both of you are able to take part properly.
The mediator does not take sides, does not give legal advice, and does not report back to your ex-partner on what you said. If mediation is not right for you, the mediator can sign the court form that allows your application to proceed.
Do I need a MIAM before applying to the family court?
In most cases, yes. If you want to apply for a child arrangements order, a specific issue or prohibited steps order, or a financial order on divorce, you must show the court that you have attended a MIAM within the last four months, or that a valid exemption applies. The mediator confirms this by signing the relevant section of your application form, such as the C100 for children matters or the Form A for finances.
The rules tightened in April 2024. The Family Procedure Rules now expect separating couples to have made a real attempt at non-court dispute resolution, and judges can ask you at any stage why you have not tried it. A judge can also take an unreasonable refusal to engage into account when deciding who pays the costs of a hearing, which in London, where hearings mean a day off work and a solicitor’s day rate, is not a small point.
So if you are asking yourself do I need a MIAM, the honest answer for most London families is that you need one either way. Either you attend and it is the start of sorting things out without court, or you attend, it is not suitable, and you have the signed form you need to apply. The only way to skip it is a genuine exemption.
MIAM exemptions: when you do not have to attend
Once you know what is a MIAM, the next question is usually whether you can avoid one. There are a number of MIAM exemptions, and the court applies them strictly, with evidence expected. The most common are:
- Domestic abuse. If there is evidence of domestic abuse between you and your ex-partner, you do not have to attend. Accepted evidence includes police involvement, a protective order, a letter from a health professional, or a letter from a domestic abuse support service.
- Child protection concerns. If a child in the family is the subject of a child protection plan or a section 47 enquiry by a local authority, the requirement does not apply.
- Urgency. Where there is a genuine risk to life, liberty or safety, or a real risk that assets will be moved or a child removed from the country before the case is heard.
- Practical impossibility. For example, you cannot contact your ex-partner, they are in prison or abroad, or there is no accredited mediator with an available appointment within fifteen miles of your home.
- A previous MIAM. If you attended a MIAM within the four months before the application, or a valid exemption was already claimed in existing proceedings on the same issue.
The fifteen mile rule almost never helps anyone in London, for the obvious reason that London is full of accredited mediators. If you are relying on an exemption, be prepared to show the court why. Claims that do not stand up can be rejected, which sends your application back to the start and costs you weeks.
Where to attend a MIAM in London
Knowing what is a MIAM is one thing, getting to one in London is another. MIAMs are held in person and by video call across the capital. In person appointments tend to cluster in Central London around Waterloo and Holborn, North London around King’s Cross and St Pancras, and South London around Sutton and Croydon, which suits how most people commute. If you and your ex-partner still live together, or you simply do not want to bump into each other, video appointments are widely used and are treated exactly the same by the court.
London Mediation Service holds MIAMs at all three locations, and its guide to attending a MIAM in London sets out what to bring and how the appointment runs. Its Central London office and North London office cover most of the inner boroughs, with Sutton serving the south.
Expect to pay for the MIAM itself, typically somewhere between £90 and £150 per person, though it is free if you qualify for legal aid, and legal aid also covers your mediation sessions and can help with your ex-partner’s first session too.
What happens after the MIAM
One of three things. You decide to try mediation, and the mediator sets up a first joint session, which is how most cases in our experience end up resolved without a courtroom. You decide court is the right route, and the mediator signs your form. Or your ex-partner declines to attend theirs, in which case the mediator can still sign your form so that your application can proceed.
If you are weighing the two routes seriously, it helps to see what the non-court option actually involves before you decide. Our guide to how family mediation works in London walks through it session by session, including timescales and what you end up with at the end. Court in London is not quick. A contested children case at the Central Family Court at High Holborn can easily take the better part of a year, and financial proceedings often take longer.
Frequently asked questions
Is a MIAM the same as mediation?
No. A MIAM is a one off information and assessment meeting you attend alone. Mediation is the process that may follow, where you and your ex-partner work through the issues together with the mediator. You can attend a MIAM and decide not to mediate.
Does my ex-partner have to attend a MIAM too?
They will be invited, but nobody can be forced to attend. If they decline or do not respond, your MIAM is still valid and the mediator can sign your court form.
How long is a MIAM valid for?
Four months. If more time passes before you apply to the court, you will need to attend again.
Is what I say in the MIAM confidential?
Yes, with the usual safeguarding exceptions where someone is at risk of harm. The mediator does not tell the court, or your ex-partner, what you discussed.
What does it cost to go to court instead?
The court fee for a C100 children application is currently £263, and for a financial order it is £313, on top of any legal costs. Check the current fees on GOV.UK, as they change.
The bottom line for London families
So, what is a MIAM when it comes down to it? A small, contained step. It costs less than an hour of a London solicitor’s time, it does not lock you into anything, and it gives you a clear picture of both routes before you commit to either. For a large number of separating couples it turns out to be the point at which court stops being necessary, and for the rest it is simply the box that has to be ticked before a judge will look at the case.
If you are still asking what is a MIAM going to mean for your case, our guides to family mediation in London and no-fault divorce, step by step take you through what comes next. When you are ready to book, London Mediation Service can arrange a MIAM in Central, North or South London, or by video.
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